05 Apr

“…For I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.”   Exodus 20:5-6

 

We hear about generational curses, and see them in action when observing addictions in alcohol, drugs, and overeating. We also see them passed down from parent to child in the forms of lying, anger, and laziness.

One form of generational curses that we don’t always recognize is the curse of rejection. Rejection is passed down as a form of self-care, control of others and self, and a way to get through life.

The unfortunate by-product of unhealthy or unforgiving rejection is guilt, shame, and condemnation, especially when one of the parties dies or is physically unattainable. Relationships can be destroyed or damaged so badly that there is no room for reconciliation. The unforgiving person is left with the constant reminder that things might have been different if he/she had been more tolerant and merciful. Now that person is faced with the burden of forgiving self and forgiving the other person.

There is a certain amount of distance, or boundaries, that have to be honored with every person in our lives. We are not called to go in and rescue others. That doesn’t work. We all have tried to do that for someone at one time or another. But being available to communicate with them – even if it is as friends (or acquaintances) is for your benefit and blessings, not theirs. Even if they reject you – and that very well may happen – you have still done what God wants by honoring them and being available for their needs, not their desires or learned helplessnesses. The extent of that relationship is between you and God.

Just because you open your front door to someone, it doesn’t mean they have the right to park their car in your living room!

When we shut off all communication between others and us in cruelty and unforgiveness, we have set ourselves up for the same thing to happen to us in other relationships. It is true that actions speak louder than words, and children, especially, repeat what they see their parents do. The door is wide open for the pain that we have given to be returned to us. I have watched that cycle torture people. Money, education, and other relationships cannot replace that special bond and love between a parent and child. We all think we can change old patterns by doing the same thing, but the truth is this: When you do what has always been done, you will get what you have always gotten.

I am not saying that anyone is right or wrong. I have no judgments, rules, or directives to give. I am not telling anyone what to do. Many things that have been placed before each of us in life are not easy. Everyone gets some kind challenge that screams out to us that we are human, venerable, and need God every second of our life.

I encourage you to focus on God, not people. He is your source of wisdom, guidance, forgiveness, and counsel. He will impart His will to you, and give you His strength to do it.

Be blessed as you stay close to God.

 

I am excited to announce that my book, The Time Will Come, will be featured in the International Christian Retail Show at Cincinnati, Ohio, June 26-29, 2016.


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