02 May

When we start shifting our attention from God to people, we begin to expect them to meet our needs and desires in a way that only God can provide for us.   Unfortunately, we leave ourselves open for disappointment. As our emotional dependence grows, we develop expectations that they cannot or will not deliver. Those who have helped us or met our needs tend to become our champions. This is a very subtle process, and often we do not realize it has happened until someone has been deeply hurt.

When we admire someone, we trust him or her and have an unspoken assurance that they will not hurt us. The more we love and idealize them, the more we are likely to have unrealistic or highly honorable standards for them. Sometimes they may have promised these grandeur attributes, and we accept them as a form of security.

When that person falls off the pedestal that we have placed them on, then we are disappointed in them. (Did you notice that I said, WHEN, not IF?) The higher the pedestal we have placed our person on, the deeper the pain is for us when they tumble. Quite often, our Fallen Champion has done something that DOES hurt deeply and for which they need to be accountable.

As a result of our disappointment in this person, we are likely to become angry, feel betrayed, and resent the relationship’s “system”.

As a judgmental mindset grows, hatred begins to set in. This hatred develops into a feeling of betrayal that destroys trust and respect. The relationship’s “system” begins to appear as if one person (that would be me or you) does all of the work and giving, and the other person – our Fallen Champion – has manipulated it so that they get to have the advantages of the relationship.

While we are in deep pain this looks like the truth, but as we look more objectively at imperfect human nature, we need to keep in mind two important facts:

                        Human devotion, affection, and approval are temporary and imperfect.

Human emotions and actions change as quickly as the weather changes.

We all sin. We all mess up. We all let people and God down. Some of us take our sins very seriously, and others dismiss them more easily. This depends upon an individual’s personality, worldview, faith, and relationship with God.

Everything on this earth has a beginning and an end. When good things happen, they are temporary. When difficult things happen, they are temporary.

Acceptance of another person’s faults and the dynamics of the relationship may be the first steps to forgiving and going forward in God. Most likely, you already knew your Fallen Champion’s faults and what they perceived as a successful relationship that worked to their advantage. The rest of the statement is that you probably thought that this fault would not ever be projected onto you.

Unfortunately, you are on the painful side of the relationship right now.

Accepting the faults and the fact that things may not change allows us to look to God first and to man second. That is the way it is supposed to be, anyway. Giving God all of self and having faith that He knew long ago that this would happen helps us to remember God is in the midst of our questions and disappointments.

We lack the ability to change other people’s hearts, minds, and faith. God respects and loves each of us so much that He will not turn us into spiritual robots who automatically do the right thing because we are programmed to do so.

Instead of the main prayer consisting of instructions and directives given to God on how to change someone, enmesh yourself in God more and more. Look to, rely upon, praise, and give your devotion and attention to God. While we still have earthly responsibilities with people, direct your heart and mind to God.

First Thessalonians 5:16-18 states, “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” You can still thank God for faith, His protection, and His presence. Glorify Him for who He is – Our Redeemer, Savior, Counselor, Spouse, Healer, and Parent. He is the King of all Creation. Praise Him.

Change your focus from man to God. This can take time and effort. Sometimes it is easier to trust what we can see over what we cannot see. God will remind you of His love, acceptance, and compassion.

He is Jehovah Shalom, God of Peace. “And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7) As God’s peace settles within you, the outside, earthly elements lose their overwhelming power.

Sometimes circumstances change, and sometimes they don’t. The most important change is that God and you are Number One Close – above any human relationship.

You may be able to look at the situation with more Godly acceptance and less emotional human dependence. God will have blessed you with the peace that passes all understanding. A byproduct of God’s peace is joy.

Peace and joy – what gifts!

God is good!

I am happy to announce that my book, The Time Will Come, will be featured at the International Christian Retail Show at Cincinnati, Ohio, June 26-29, 2016.

 

 


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